Here I am, forty years old, unmarried and I believed I was happy. Or at least I thought I was until about a month ago.
It's not that I don't look decent, or that I have a lousy personality. It's true I don't look like Elizabeth Taylor, definitely not Madonna, but I'm a passable woman. And I don't mean pass by, but presentable. I have a decent personality, not bubbly, but friendly. It's that I'm afraid of long term commitments. Long term being six months or more, actually it would be safer to say three months or more.
I can't say where I inherited this from, as my parents have been married forty plus years and if they had any problems they kept them hidden from me. They seem best friends who enjoy each others company, so I can't say why I don't want a commitment. Maybe my parents gave me such a good life and still, being an only child, give me more than I need.
You've seen movies of the career bridesmaid? Well that's me. All but one of my friends from college are married. They're always trying to set me up on a blind date. I've had them all! One who cried, wanting me to believe he was sensitive. Another who had just gone through a divorce and only wanted to talk about his ex wife. I even had one who brought his three children with him to see if we were compatible. Talk about a fun date, not! I decided then and there to call off going on blind dates. That is until my friend Kimmy called me..
Kimmy is a settled individual. She's always known what career she wanted to go into, what type of husband, and last year she succeeded in landing the "perfect husband". Her words, not mine, though I have to admit, Jeremy is pretty close. That's why when she invited me out to her home for dinner and to meet her brother-in-law, Thomas, I decided to break my no blind date rule.
I was standing in Kimmy's kitchen, leaning by the sink, listening to Kimmy talk about her new life. "It's too amazing, I knew I wanted a life like I now have, but I never imagined feeling so complete. Jeremy is not only my husband, but my best friend, " she said. I was just thinking how sappy can she get, when in walked this man who was the spitting image of Tom Selleck, no kidding, I about dropped my glass of wine.
Unfortunately, he's got me beat in the not wanting to be committed in a long term relationship. We've been dating for a month now and I find that I too want a similar life to Kimmy. So this is my reasoning, get him to propose, then rush into the marriage, don't give either one of us time to have cold feet. Sounds logical, I mean after all, I'm forty and have dated different types of men and definitely know what I don't want, so it's reasonable to assume I am in love. Now how to convince Thomas.
My plan was to be unavailable less, not too much that he would look elsewhere, but enough that would start him thinking things like "Has she met someone else or she doesn't like me anymore", enough to get his attention and focus on me. It worked, except, now I'm getting cold feet. Tomorrow is the day when I'll become Mrs. Thomas Selleck, oops, I mean Mrs. Thomas Saint, really it's Saint.
We decided to meet at his house and go to the church together. Who cares about this "you're not suppose to see the bride in her wedding dress before the ceremony". My thought is "lets make sure the groom is at the ceremony to appreciate the dress ". When I walked in, he still hadn't put on his tie and shoes. He looked up at me with those big brown eyes, "Are you sure we're not making a mistake?"
"No, I'm not sure we're not making a mistake, I am sure, however, that you're the one I want to make the mistake with." I know, real corny, but I am sincere. I looked at my watch, "Thomas we've got to hurry, everyone will be there but the bride and groom!"
The drive to the church seemed to take forever, but we safely arrived, though I hope that lady we almost hit crossing the road is fine. Dashing up the steps to the church we looked up to see the minister waiting for us at the door. She motioned for us to hurry inside, " I was beginning to think your were not coming!"
I smiled at her, "We were always coming, never had any second thoughts or felt any cold feet". I quickly glanced around to be sure God didn't send down a bolt of lightning.